No Way Out
You are in a platoon of Saiyans that survived the genocide. You must survive on an unforgiving world with no technology and a species that is superior in every way. You are also being hunted by the PTO. You must survive. There is No Way Out. If you would like to join this roleplay, please sign up here. Thank you. Awards *Article of the Month - December 2013: *Article of the Month - January 2014 (nominee). *2014 Official Dragon Ball Fanon Wiki Awards - Best Collaborations/Roleplays: Living Characters Endiv - WaffleMinifigure Leo (unknown if still alive - MIA) - KidVegeta Dead Characters Lavera & Shallin & Nogey - Destructivedisk Reeko & Basalt & Baray & Guy Who Looks Like Basalt And Baray & Cotillion & Letti - Nobody700 Rubar & Leimone & NPCs - WaffleMinifigure Blitz - Kameron esters- Tane & all Tane-spawn - KidVegeta Part One Endiv: *gets out of the ship that they stole from Planet Vegeta* Endiv: Where are we? Endiv: *throws Saiba-seed on the ground* Tane: *springs up from the ground like an acrobat* Ggrrhhhrr!! Endiv: Get food or I eat you. Endiv: Fine I won't eat you, Mr Space Monst- *collapses from concussion* Tane: *runs off on all fours* Endiv: *wakes* What happened? NO, COME BACK! Tane: Gruuhhh!! *runs until he is out of sight; this allows Endiv and the other Saiyans to start talking amongst themselves* Shallin: *wakes up, he is the first to wake up* Where are we? Endiv: *Checks the ship's computer* It says... It says this thing is called "Helios", and apparently it's not under Frieza's control! Shallin: What happened? Were we shot down? Endiv: Well, someone was shot, the pilot, by me. Shallin: You shot the pilot? *Shallin tenses, ready to fight* Endiv: He was planning to land on an PTO planet, I tried to warn him, but he said he'll cross that bridge when he came to it. So I did the logical thing, I knocked him out while we were in orbit of this planet. Shallin: Where is he now? Where is the rest of the platoon? Endiv: There were eight in the main part of the ship where we were, the rest must not be far. Shallin: Is the ship still working? We need to get out of the galaxy. Did you kill the pilot? See who's still alive. I'll scout the planet for food. Endiv: The ship's computer still works, but flight systems are down. The Pilot and a few others are still alive, and the Witch is sadly still alive. Shallin: Lavera? What a bitch. Where's the Saibaseed? We could send Tane to search the planet for threats. What's the damage to the flight system? Lavera: *steps into the scene* What's that? Have something to say, Shallin? Shallin: *grimaces* We've got bigger worries right now than your bitching, Lavera. Make yourself useful and find the others. Lavera: You can do whatever you want. I'm going to go find food. Don't expect me to share. Endiv: The engine has... well, disappeared, and Tane is somewhere in that direction. *points Northeast* Tane's probably getting food though. Shallin: The engine's disappeared? What do you mean? Engines don't just disappear. And Lavera, if Tane's out getting food, he'll find some. You can go find the others for now. Endiv: Well, I actually ejected the engine, if we crashed with it, it would have exploded and we'd be dead. Shallin: *thinks for a moment, then nods* You're a scientist, right? I need you to work on creating a new engine. Lavera: *hops away from the others - she is going to go off on her own for a little while, looking around the planet* Endiv: I'm more of a doctor than scientist, but I could probably make one with necessary materials, and this is a material rich planet. I wonder why Freezerburn hasn't taken this over yet. *Something rumbles in the bushes* Shallin: What was that? Tane, are you in there? Endiv: *turns on scouter* Power level 4000! That isn't Tane! Shallin: What? 4,000? Nobody's that strong. Your scouter must be malfunctioning. * A small grey black eyed child emerges* Shallin: Hang back... where the hell are the others? Lavera! Come back! *to Endiv* You and I can't fight that, whatever it is. Maybe it's friendly... Gray child: Hehe.. Pet! *The Child puts Shallin in a headlock at superspeed* Grr, feral! *It fires a ki attack at Endiv* Haha! Endiv: *dodges* Shallin: *uses his explosive wave, freeing himself from the gray child's grasp - he moves to the left, trying fruitlessly to hide himsef* Lavera! Come on! Where are you? Endiv: I'll distract it! You find Lavera! Lavera: *meanwhile, on a different part of the planet, Lavera plays with an intricate doll - it is a gift from her mother, one of her few keepsakes from the Planet Vegeta - she speaks to herself* Hmph... I knew that joining the platoon was a stupid idea. *she searches her scouter for nearby Saiyans, hoping to find a rescuer - she is presented with no luck. in frustration, she throws the doll off to the side* Endiv: *fires Black Hole Bomb, which sucks the child in before throwing him a few miles* *collapses* Shallin: Are you sure you can handle it for now? The scouter senses Lavera, but it'll take me a few minutes to get to her. Endiv: *stands up* I'll be fine! Go! *goes after Child* Gray Child: *lands near Lavera* Lavera: Hmph? *uses scouter to scan* 4,000?! *brashly, she runs toward the Gray Child, not knowing what it is - in her brashness, she leaves the doll behind - she soon arrives near the gray child* Endiv: *lands nearby* DIE STUPID GRAY THI-! *sees Lavera* Hey Witch. Lavera: Go fuck yourself, Endiv. *begins charging the Leda Blaster, her signature attack* Get out of my way. Endiv: *stands back* We both know that only one of us f*cks themselves at night, and it's not me. Gray Child: *wakes* DIE!! *fires ki blast at both* Tane: *returns to the area; he sees the fight going on* Mrruuugh?! Lavera: *dodges the attack to the left - it grazes her left side, scraping her* Endiv, I won't kill you if you hold him off while I charge this. Endiv: Will do. *Moves at superspeed to punch the child in the face* Gray Child: *breaks Endiv's arm* Endiv: Ow. *uses his other arm to fire a ki attack that he'd been charging* Tane: *from afar; he gets scared from seeing the ki* Aarrruubra!! Gray Child: *gets knocked on the ground* Endiv: *stomps on his face* Gray Child: *bites through boot using razor sharp teeth* Endiv: GAH! *flies up, away from Gray Child* Shallin: *arrives on the scene* Lavera, where have you been? *assesses the situation* Endiv... get away from here. I can take over. Endiv: It would make more sense for us to both attack him, he can't hit two targets. Shallin: *snarls* You've fought enough... You'll get yourself killed. Leave. Lavera and I can take it from here. Endiv: Fine. *picks tooth from foot* I got some analysing to do. *flies back to the ship* Tane: *gets a little more complacent from the lack of fighting; he sits down and starts eating a large leaf from a nearby plant* Mmrrrhg... Gray Child: RAAH! *uses superspeed to claw, which have recently emerged, Shallin's neck* Shallin: Aah! *grunts and pulls claw out of neck - takes the Gray Child by the arm and throws him against the floor* How much more time do you need, Lavera? This fucker's strong. Gray Child: *sees Lavera's energy, and goes for her neck* Lavera: Give me one more minute. *the attack has grown immensely in size - it is now roughly the size of her head* Shallin: *jumps onto the Gray Child, stopping it from getting to Lavera - he slams the Gray Child down to the ground and wrestles with it; he puts the Gray Child into a headlock* Gray Child: *wrestles away and tries to run and warn his species* Lavera: There. *she unleashes the Leda Blaster, aiming rather accurately at the Gray Child - it makes contact* Tane: Gruuuh!! *the blast explodes nearby him, causing him to get really scared; he runs off into the jungle again* Gray Child: *dies* Shallin: Take him back to the ship. We'll have Endiv run an analysis on it. We can't stay out here... whatever that was, there are surely more of them. Lavera: Hmph, whatever. I'm still looking for food. *leaves again* Shallin: So stubborn... she never would have made a good mate... *with that having been said, Shallin grabs the Gray Child and flies off with him, heading back to the ship* Lavera: *has returned to her earlier location - glancing around, she does not see the doll anywhere; she realizes that another one of the Gray Children may have taken it - apprehensively, she flies off and leaves again* Endiv: *wearing a labcoat, he finishes analysing the tooth* Aha! So that's what you are. Shallin: *arrives at the ship* Endiv, Lavera killed the thing. I've kept the body for you. Figure out what it is and what we can do to fight it. Endiv: It's called a "Astrum Bestia Argentum" or, a Grey. It's weakness, well, ki attacks, I'm guessing. Shallin: It's getting dark... we should rest and wait for the others to wake up. Do you think they can get in the ship? Endiv: Probably. Wait, where's Lavera? Shallin: Who knows? Hopefully they'll get to her out in the wild. I'll search for Tane in the morning. Let's hope he makes it through the night. Leo: *he is standing in a large room, right next to a throne; he has a drink his his hand; he is wearing his full armor sans his helmet* Uh, here you go, sir. *he hands the drink to the being sitting in the throne* Leimone: *takes the iced tea and sips it slowly* Have you found the Saiyan cowards yet, Lieutenant? Leo: No sir! Leimone: Then why are you still here? Leo: Uh, I was bringing you a drink. *moderate pause* Sir! Leimone: *irritated* Go back to searching for them. Lord Frieza wants them dead as soon as possible. Leo: O-of course, sir. *he salutes and goes to leave* Leimone: It's my neck on the line if we don't find them, Lieutenant. But don't think you'll get away, either, if we come up empty-handed. Leo: Sir, I'll find them, sir! *he runs out of there* Oh lombax! This is bad; real bad. I don't want to die! END PART ONE Part Two Endiv: *experimenting with corpse* No, that doesn't work, no, no, and no. Letti: Why, why does this happen to me! Grey: Come back pet! Letti: Ow... that... hurts! Grey: *puts Letti in a headlock* Yay! New pet! Letti: HELP! SOMEONE! Endiv: *fires an energy wave at Grey* Grey: *lets go* Letti: T...Thank you! Letti: Thank you very much, I thought I was done for! Tane: *running through the jungle; he stops and notices the fight* Wrraahahhaja!! *he sprints off* Letti: W...what was that!? Endiv: Come back Tane! I've got treats! Follow me kid! *chases Tane* Letti: What's Going on! I escape some from some guards and now this! Endiv: We're stranded here, after we catch Tane, I'll tell you all about it on the ship! Letti: Stranded! Letti: FASTER! Endiv: *flies* FLY, YOU IDIOT! Letti: O... OKAY! Letti: AHH! Letti: A... are we safe!? Grey: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *Gets ripped apart* Letti: Does everything want to kill us! Endiv: That thing... It's not even showing up on my scouter! Tane: *sees the grey thing get shredded and starts running faster* Ohhaggah!!? Endiv: *picks up Tane* Gotcha! *Flies to the ship* Follow me! Letti: Where are we going? Endiv: Does it matter? Tane: *thrashes about, making Endiv drop him* Uuuggh! Meatsack! Letti: Look at that, he fell, we can go now right!? Endiv: Damnit Tane, die from the death cloud then! Letti: Hey look! Letti: Sir... he's... gone! Tane: *cackles at Endiv's inaccuracy* Endiv: *growls at Tane* My name's Endiv, follow me. *goes to the ship* Tane: Uuh. Gruuh! *runs after Endiv* Endiv: Welcome, to the ship. Letti: Looks huge! Umm... who are you and what did I get into? Shallin: *wakes up - he is in his morning pajamas, showing off his rippling massive muscles* It's more important who you are. You were never a part of the platoon. How do we know you're not with the Planet Trade Organization? Endiv: He's Saiyan, Shallin, anyway if he betrayed us he'd be easy to kill. Shallin: *sighs in acceptance* It's good to see that Tane is okay. Put him back in his crate, though. Has anyone seen Lavera? Endiv: That's why I left, also there are death clouds. Letti: Hi... MR. Big man, I d...don't betray... Honest! *Letti is shaking and sweating in fear from this guy Endiv: Calm down kid, he's not Lavera, also what is your name? Letti: *Starts to stand straight,: M... My name Is Letti Sir! I... boarded you're ship... when I was running from some goons. Tane: *points at Letti suspiciously* Meatsack...!! *he barks like a wild dog and then flings himself into a nearby bush to find some grass to eat* Letti *Falls to the ground: Look out, it's loose! Endiv: Whatever, c'mon, let's find Lavera, Letti: Lavera... she sounds familar... is she a women? Endiv: Uh, yeah, how do you know that? Tane: Ahnnjaha! *finds an extraordinarily long piece of grass; this causes him to burst out into pure ecstasy; he jumps for joy and claps his hands over his head and he holds the piece of grass in his mouth; then he eats it* Letti: I met her at the Oo... I mean I heard she won a Oozaru belt for Bravery. Umm... what is that thing doing? Endiv: Wait a sec, Letti, I've heard that name... Letti: Oh... Uh... I get that a lot, the person you're thinking of name is Letty, not Letti! Shallin: No, you're the person that disrespected the Belt of Oozaru. I remember seeing a picture of you. Do you not understand the importance of honor?! Letti (Angry): HONOR!? What is honor in killings hundreds of Innocents and all my Friends sent to some Incinerator! That belt was not some sort of honor, it was a reward for Butchery! Tane: *notices the cloud of kryll-wannabes coming closer; he runs away in a panic, back onto the ship* Letti: G...Guys. What is that? Shallin: Get out of the ship. We have to kill to survive here. We have no need for cowards. And for the love of kai, will somebody put Tane into his crate? Endiv: *charges Ki* Letti: W...wait! Think about this! Endiv: *fires a energy wave at the creatures* Tane: *literally cannot find anywhere to hide so he just goes into the corner* Endiv: *Uses superspeed to smash the Kryll's heads in* Letti: *A Kryll jumps at Letti and Letti, scared, blasts it to smithereens. Tane: Whoaoanha! *he is clearly excited* Letti: Woo, that was thrilling. Let's head back to the ship. Endiv: I'm gonna find the Witch. Letti: *Looks at Shallin: I'll go with you. Leimone: Reeko! Leo! Leo: Reeko? I had a room-mate named Reeko once. He lived up to his name... *walks onto the bridge; he salutes Leimone* You called, sir? Reeko: Yes sir? Leimone: We found them, prepare a squad of your choosing. Mr Reeko will be assisting you, prepare your gear, you leave at dawn. Leo: Aw, sir, can't I have anyone else? I'll get you some iced tea if you give me more support! Reeko: Do no worry sir... I will not fail you. Though I do ask... Are they sayians? Leo: *to himself* Oh, lombax... this is my support? Leimone: Yes, yes they are, and yes, it is Leo. Reeko: Good *To Leo: Sir, I will serve you, and I will obey every order... But if we Find a Sayian I want to kill... You will let me. If you do... I will be you're slave. Leimone: *to Leo, quietly* If he is a dead weight, you have my permission, to end him. Leo: Thanks sir! *runs out so fast no one can even blink; he comes back with a glass of iced tea and Leimone immediately grabs for it because he needs it really bad* Whew. Hope you like that, sir. Now about you... *raises his eyebrow at Reeko* Welp, I don't know what's wrong with you, but we'll get to find out soon enough! *he pats his trusty wrench because he's a lombax* END PART TWO Part Three Endiv: C'mere witchy witchy! Letti: Hey, uhh... Endiv? What is this 'witchy witchy' like? Endiv: Letti, what rhymes with witch? Letti: Uhh... Oh you! Tane: *at Endiv* Ggrrhhhrr!! Endiv: I'm gonna find that smoke monster one of these days, Tane. Tane: *runs for the hills* Letti: Why does that thing do that? Lavera: *appears out of the bushes - she is scantily clad and her clothes are all ripped up* Did someone let Tane out of his crate? He just attacked me in the bushes! Endiv: Uhh, I.. need to go to those bushes over there. *goes to the bushes over there* Tane: Meatsack! *runs for the hills* Letti *Starts to blush: H...Hi, N...Nice to M...meet you! Tane: *sees Letti acting like that and shoots a yellow ki blast at him* Gruuh! Letti: Why... Does take hate me? Tane: *runs for the hills* Endiv: Tane, not Take. Letti: Whatever it's name is, it hates me. Also I... Crap I know you! Lavera: Bah, this is pointless. I'm going back to the ship. Let me know when the plot develops. Tane: *tackles Lavera* Endiv: *ducks behind Letti* Lavera: All right, who let this thing out of its kaidamn cage?! Because whoever it was, I'm going to take Tane and I'm going to shove Tane into their urethra. And for the love of Kai, Letti, yes, you got the Belt of Oozaru. Go ahead, fuck me, all right? Tane: *is still standing on top of the tackled Lavera* Uujahnatta!! *jumps and claps his hands over his head* Endiv: About that last part, with Letti? You are desperate. Letti* Grabs Tane from behind and holds it: Oh... The belt of Oozaru... I really don't care for garbage. Lavera: *takes Tane and throws him at Endiv, hitting Letti as collateral* I'm done. *flies off back to the ship* Endiv: *flies to the ship* Tane: *runs for the hills* Letti: I said something wrong right? Gray Child:Peeet. Shallin: *hears the 'peet' and leaves the ship - upon seeing the thing, he uses his scouter* 3,500?... not as bad. *takes his fighting stance* Gray Father: So, you're the one that killed my son. Tane: Unghtn. Mhrehth! *runs past and sees the grays; he shoots a ki barrage at them* Gray Father: *deflects it with another ki barrage* Tane: *since you can't actually deflect a barrage with another, Tane is saved from harm* Shallin: Not me. You're looking for Lavera. She killed the Gray Thing. *leaves fighting form* Gray Father: You could have stopped her, inaction is as worse as murder. Shallin: She made her own decision. I do not wish to fight you - save yourself the pain and go find Lavera. Gray Father: Might as well leave her a message. *fires Destructive Wave at Shallin* Endiv: *gets thrown out of the cloud, unconscious* Cloud: *dissipates* Shallin: *uses superspeed to get over to Endiv* Endiv? Do you hear me, Endiv? *after recieving no response, he checks for a pulse - after recieving one, he takes Endiv back to the ship and lays him down* Letti: What happened!? Shallin: How the fuck should I know? *pulls out sword* Endiv just showed up outside the ship unconscious. *swings sword around* Tane: Mrugh. *dodges sword like a pro-dodger* A figure walks out of the ship Blitz: What? Hell happened? *looks around the place and sees a bunch of dead Greys* Something tells me we're not on Planet Vegeta anymore. Shallin: Yes, hell happened, indeed. Anyways, go to your room. It's not safe out here. *swings sword at Tane again* Endiv: *screams incoherently before vomiting a black bile* What... Happened.... Tane: Nhbruah! *jumps over the sword like a ballerina; sees Endiv's vomit* Schrzeedio! *runs over to it and starts eating it* Letti: Well... Bad stuff! Lots of it... And who are you? Blitz: I only go by my nickname, Blitz. And who are you bloodshed hogs? Endiv: *stands up* I'm the Doctor.... of this fine ship! *collapses* Tane: *runs over to Endiv to help him up, but since he's like 2 feet tall and Endiv is much taller than that, he gives up and then goes back to the vomit* Letti *Grabs Endiv and puts him down: My name is Letti... And... Bloodshed hogs? Shallin: This is a waste of time. Has anyone seen Lavera? Endiv: Oh I saw her! You should have been there! Blitz: Hell is this place anyway? It looks like bullshit here. Endiv: This is Helios, AKA Super Death Planet! Letti: And I seem to be a very big target! Blitz: Why ever for? Have you aligned yourself with someone out of the Planet Trade Organization? Shallin: It looks like bullshit? What the hell is a bull, Blitz? What is a bull? Tell me that. I want to know what a bull is. Actually, no, I'm done. I'M FUCKING DONE. I'm going out into the jungle, I'm going to find Lavera, and we're going to get away from here. You guys just do whatever you want to do! *sheathes his sword, leaves the ship, scans with scouter, senses Lavera's power, and begins to fly towards it* Tane: *runs for the hills* Letti: Stop! What about Endiv!? Crap... Blitz or whatever you are, help me heal Endiv. Endiv: *pushes them back* I'm fine, it's just some gravitational realignment sickness. Letti: Is there a way for us to help you? Endiv: No, now, if you'll excuse me I have to fix the engine. *walks off* Blitz: *to Letti* I have my eyes on you, fool. *walks off* Tane: *he gets away from Letti with ease; as he's running after Shallin, his best Saiyan, Tane notice something descending from the sky, nearby* Ruuh? *it lands somewhat far away from him, though it creates a pretty big bang on impact* Leo: *climbing out of his pod, surveying the landscape; he is playing some pretty sweet tunes from his pod-radio* Nananana! Sup, bitches? Reeko: Sir, I detect a group of power levels... South east! Leo: Cool. *swings wrench around and walks off into the jungle; all of his soldiers follow him* PTO Soldier: *nasally* Lert's get those monkeys! Reeko*Smiling: Agreed... Let's have fun soldiers! Leo: How about we just kill them, okay? That would be neat. *he unshoulders his Omega Alpha Cannon and shoots it into the forest, destroying a whole slew of trees in front of him* Let's move! *everyone runs forward with him* Hey, I'll bet you guys a platinum bolt that the Saiyans kill all of you. Reeko: to be expected... END PART THREE Part Four Blitz: *uses his Scouter* Oh shit! To many high power levels coming back from the crash! *Scouter breaks* DAMN IT! *runs back* Shallin: *scouter breaks* FUCK! Lavera: *scouter breaks* THIS IS LIKE BULLSHIT! Endiv: *scouter breaks* Aww, that was my last one... Letti: Holy shit... There's chips on this ship! Leo: *Reeko and the lackeys are charging forward; he swings around his wrench lazily* Yeah, yeah. Go get them... Reeko *Reeko is walking, while checking his scouter* Sir, there are about... 2 power levels that are over a thousand right around here. Tane: *shrieks and throws up* Reeko: Now wait... Another one very close to them sir. Men... Prepare the blasters... Saiyans are strong. Blitz: Hold the fucking balls! *makes it back and is breathing heavily* You...are...here...to take us off the planet right. Please tell me you came to...help us. Whew! Reeko: A saiyan. Where are the others... boy? Endiv: *fires randomly* SHOO! Leo: *not paying attention to the fight ahead of him, even as explosions are going off; he sees something and crouches down to inspect it* Hey! What's this? *he tilts his head as he picks it up with his wrench; it's a small doll* Nogey: *stays super still to avoid being outed as not-a-doll* Reeko: *Grabs Blitz* STOP NOW OR THE CHILD GETS DECAPITATED! Endiv: *sees what's happening* *continues* Tane: Amagatairahgabhrrenia! *sees the soldiers are pursuing him, so he runs back to camp; they all follow him and then start fighting the Saiyans and stuff* Reeko: Why am I not surprised? *He jabs Blitz in the throat but does not kill him.* Letti: Help! PTO Soldier: *nasally attacks Endiv* Die nerd! *nasally dies from Endiv's attack* Leo: I wonder who left this out here... *rustles the doll with his wrench; he rests one knee on the ground* Lavera: *stumbles onto the scene* Hmph. *she hears Letti's whining but doesn't care - afterwards, she sees Leo handling her doll* You! That's mine! Reeko *Grabs Lavera: Hello, and you are? Tane: Awoonba! *a soldier chases him into a corner of trees; he turns around and then jumps on the soldier's head, clawing it and biting it; it has tasty meat* Endiv: Hey! *points at Reeko* It's my job to invade Lavera's personal space! *punches Reeko in the face* Lavera: Get off me. *backhands Reeko and escapes from his grasp* Leo: *looks up at Lavera; nods to her* Hey there. You want this back, monkey-doll? Huh? Reeko: SAIYANS! *Runs at Endiv and punches him in the chest Lavera: *nods and flaunts her immense sexuality* Leo: *throws the doll to her with his wrench; as she goes to catch it, he shoots an orange beam from his free hand right into her chest, sending her flying back quite a ways; then, he teleports up to the flying doll and catches it with his armored glove; he realizes it's not as squishy as he had thought* Heh. It's not going to be that easy, girl. Lavera: *dry heaving* Oh kai... that hurt... oh kai... *collapses onto the ground* Reeko: Time to die saiyan*Points his hand at Lavera. Tane: *rips the PTO alien's head off and starts eating from his bleeding neck; this gets him all red, but he didn't actually evolve yet* ' Letti*Finishes his fight with The Two PTO officers and crawls to Tane: Good...job...Tane. Can you... Help me now? Tane: *throws up into Letti's mouth* Endiv: THOSE MOTHERFUCKING MOTHERFUCKERS! THEY KILLED LAVERA! Letti*Gets up and scratches his mouth: Thanks asshole... Wait... WHAT!? Reeko: The only good saiyan... Is one on all fours. Leo: *walks up behind Reeko; pockets the doll* Did I ever tell you I had a room-mate named Rico? Great guy. Didn't have much of a brain, though. You remind me of him. *Leo swings his wrench and decapitates Reeko; the PTO soldier's body falls to the ground and his head rolls right in front of Leo's boot; Leo crushes the green head with his foot; he looks to Lavera's corpse* Well, this is going better than expected. Letti: What is going on! Hey... What's up with that corpse! Shallin: *upon having heard Endiv's shouts of murder, he started flying to the scene; now that he has arrived, he surveys the situation and finds Endiv's words to be true - he looks toward Leo* Do you realize what you have done? Leo: *takes out his Omega Alpha Cannon and shoots it at Letti, blowing off the Saiyan's ear in the process; turns to Shallin* Yeah, man. But that guy was annoying. It sucked living on the same ship as him. Shallin: Not him. Her. *points at Lavera* Leo: Oh, yeah. She was weaker than I thought. Do you want to join her? Or are you going to get out of here? *Leo nods right, to where the forests are* It'll make my job a lot easier... Shallin: You must not know much about saiyans... Have you ever heard of The Great War? Endiv *beats the shit out of Reeko* Reeko*All fused back: Shit! Attacking a man on a crutch! I thought you were brave!*Prepares a blast Leo: Yeah, and look where you are now. *he points the Omega Alpha Cannon at Shallin* It's just orders, man, but you're making me want to do this to you. Endiv: Bravery is bullshit. *shoots Reeko in the face* Reeko*Fused face: YOU SHALL DIE...*Sees Letti: Y..you*Bitchslaps Endiv, flys to Letti, grabs him, and flys away Reeko: I WILL BE BACK LEO! Endiv: Bitch please. *tackles Reeko out of the sky* Shallin: I was a soldier in that war. *begins charging up a bright white, perfectly round energy ball in his hand* I still remember the night that we won the war. We were cornered. We were on the brink of defeat. There was simply no way out. We were going to die that night. My best friend died in my arms that night. And just then, just as I was about to be killed, do you know what I remembered? I remembered that I was a Saiyan. And do you know what Saiyans do? Saiyans attack! Saiyans do not relent! And do you know what I did? I transformed. *with this, Shallin releases the white energy ball from his hands - it is a Power Ball* Leo: What's are you doing now? *he flicks his tail in annoyance; upon seeing the white energy ball, he holsters his weapon and watches* Endiv: *transforms* *roar* Letti: *Transforms* *ROAR* Reeko: IT IS YOU, ALL ALONG! I THOUGHT SO! BUT NOW, I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE ON YOU FOR KILLING MY FAIMLY! I WILL KILL EVERY SAIYAN ON THIS KAI FOR SAKEN ROCK, THEN THAT LEO BASTARD, AND SOON... ALL THE SAIYANS! NOW FEEL MY WRATH! METOR DEATH ' Shallin: *transforms, and then, in his deep Great Ape voice, says* Come here, Lombax! *he begins swatting toward Leo* Leo: *reads his power level* Oh, fuck! *he takes to the air and dashes off* I didn't even tell him I was a lombax! Fuuuck!! Endiv: *does the Giant Monkey time dance, AKA smashes everything besides the ship* Letti*Fires a blast at Leo, but misses. Shallin: *makes contact with Leo, swatting him off into the forest* Hahahaha! *he loses control of his Great Ape form and starts beating his chest like Donkey Kong, before running off into the forest and trampling the ship and many trees in doing so* Blitz: I can't belive you loathsome scum would pull a stunt like thison us! *turns Grat Ape* RAAAAAWWWWWR! *fires Mouth Barrage Wave* Leo: *crashes into the forest, landing deep in a crater; he can't move his body, but he raises his head and sees the massive crater he's in; his armor is covered in dirt* Oh, mother of Tachyon! My leg! My leg... *his head falls to the ground; he is unconscious* Tane: *sees his friends turn into Great Apes* Mgrhbn?? Letti*Sees Tane, and remembers the barf, and runs after him. Blitz: *starts to Rage Quit* RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAWWWWRRR! *starts spaming mouth blast* Tane: *runs for the hills; Letti has a hard time keeping balance with his ear gone* Lavera: *is dead* Letti*Falls down and gets so angry, blows up a planet with its mouth beam. Endiv: *jumps on Blitz's monkey back* Letti: Ookkk...Uhh...yeah! Nogey: *hops out of Leo's pocket* Well, this isn't good. *scurries off into the deep forest* Blitz: *gets angry and starts spaming more blasts at the other Great Apes* Tane: *cheers him on* Letti* Bitchslaps Blitz unconscious. Tane: Hghsssssssssss!! *boos Letti* Letti* Grabs Blitz and lays him down and lays next to him. Protecting him. Letti: No one... Must no... Of what we almost Did... GOT IT! Tane: *runs for the hills* Endiv: I will always know. ALWAYS. Shallin: *reverts to his base form, he has a terrible headache and lays in the tall grass* Oh kai... where am I?... where's the ship? *he falls unconscious - there is a silhouette of something menacing in the background* Tane: *reaches the forest and runs through it; he notices a massive crater to his right* Eyobayn?! *he stops running away and goes to investigate it* END PART FOUR Part Five On A PTO Ship ???: What is Leimone doing? Leimone: Being behind you, whats-your-name. Basalt: Just wanted to know how you could screw something up so easy again... Leo's ship is destroyed. Leimone: You get planet duty. Go there, or I throw you out the airlock. Leimone *throws Basalt out the airlock for stealing his space phone* BASALT IS DEAD, FOREVER ???: THANK GOD! That idiot is dead, hey boss, can I go and take them out know, You know how I feel about ripping people a new one! Baray: PLEASE, I promise to get you a new space phone! One that can shoot LASERS! Leimone: ZOMBIE! *throws baray out of the airlock* ZOMBIE BASALT IS DEAD Frieza: This is lord Frieza, I want to know if Baratanoe is okay, he looks like that idiot Basalt and Zombie Basalt, he is my favourite solider... Can I see him? Leimone: *imitates Cooler's voice* Frieza! Why are you waking me up this late?! Frieza: COOLER! Funny... I saw you just a minute ago... Wait... BARATANOE! You rascal you, you always know what to do to make me laugh... Hey, remember that waitress of Frieza planet 21? Leimone: *imitates Baray's voice* Frieza... I'm joining Cooler's army.... I-I wish you knew sooner. Frieza: O...Okay... I did not know that... I... Hope to see you again... Zarbon: I told him not to get so close. Cooler : I can't wait to see Baratanoe! Frieza: I HATE YOU! On Helios Shallin: *still passed out* Nogey: *sips down some ice cold star juice and then continues scurrying around* Leo: *wakes up and finds his helmet has fallen off; he notices a green creature licking a wound on his forehead* Eeeck! It's an interloper! *he shakes the creature off of him* Tane: Mrhagaba! *he gets up in a defensive stance* Leo: *sits up, rubbing his head* What the hell, man? You can't just eat me because you want to! Tane: Agaba! *he jumps on Leo but Leo kicks him off; Tane runs for the hills* Leo: *prepares an orange energy blast in his hand, then dissipates it; he struggles to stand up* Ey, better not. That guy's probably the protagonist. *finds his helmet and puts it on; he presses a button and calls up Leimone* Captain Leimone, it's Leo. Basalt: *talking through Leimone's Space phone* LEO! YOU HAVE FAILED... But I will forgive... Just show me you're coordinates. Leimone: Gimme back my space phone. *takes it back* Leo: Sir? Leimone: Heeey! Is it legal to murder two people for no reason? Leo: Ooooh shiieet! Please don't kill me! Sir, I'll make this up to you, I promise! I'll get you a whole gallon of iced tea when I get back- *suddenly, Tane reappears and jumps on Leo's head; he quickly rips off the Lombax's helmet and runs off with it* Son of Qwark! *he runs after Tane* Leimone: Hey, why are you speaking gibberish? *Leo, who is still wounded and limping, cannot catch up to Tane; before long, Tane is out of sight; with Leo's scouter in his helmet, he can't track that green guy any more* Letti : Whats that? Tane: Alckanana! *he screams and runs past Letti, but Letti doesn't hear him because his ear is blown off* Endiv: *throws a net at Tane, it misses.* Fuck. Letti: I wish I could hear... Hey Endiv, why not catch Tane by doing this Endiv: *stomach rumbles* I just realized, I haven't eaten in days.... *pounces on finger* Tane: *puts the helmet on* Shrryavghyaga! Leimone: Damnit! Did you get space dementia? Tane: Shruggah?! Mackalbracka! *he cuts the connection with Leimone* Letti: O...Kay... Endiv... Have a head I found. Endiv: *sniffs it* Needs cooking, I'm gonna start a fire. *starts a fire* Leo: *uses his Omega Alpha Cannon as a crutch as he walks through the forest* Curses! Really, a Saibalombax? Of all the things to get me... Letti: Hey Endiv... What the hell is that cat doing? Cottilion: Welcome... I hope you have a nice time..l because so far... Helios was giving you a warm up... Tomorrow... Have fun~ Letti Leo: *stumbles through the brush until he comes to a clearing; he sees a massive city in front of him, built into the rocks and whatnot* This wasn't on the map... *he steps forward* Welp, they better have some space whiskey. END PART FIVE Part Six Letti : S...space vixens... Nogey: *runs in out of nowhere and grabs Letti - he begins running off with him, taking him super far away* Endiv: *using a combination of cooking PTO soldiers and not caring about Letti, he ignores it* Tane: *running through the bushes* Askala! *he suddenly sees one of those greys and it starts chasing him; he turns around and runs from whence he came* Ybgriiie! Death Cloud: *murders the Grey silently* I'm afraid I have use for them. *dissipates*. Tane: Ggrrhhhrr!! *he runs back to the Saiyans* Rubar: *crawls out of the ship's wreckage* WHO SHOT ME?! Tane: *reaches the camp and sees Rubar* Quo? Rubar: I should really stop drinking before I pilot ships. Tane: *sees the horror that is Rubar, screeches, and then runs right at Endiv; he jumps into Endiv's arms with all of his force, and knocks the good Saiyan unconscious with the force of Leo's helmet* Nogey: Another one? *with great force, he pounds the injured Rubar unconscious with one punch and then picks him up - he proceeds to grab the unconscious Endiv with his other arm, before running away again* *they are now in a secluded part of the forest, far away from the ship and safe from enemies. Shallin, Endiv, Letti, Rubar, and Lavera's carcass are all in the area* Nogey: I bet you're all wondering why I gathered you here today. *unfortunately, they are all asleep, and do not hear him* Endiv: *wakes up* Huh. *uses Shallin as a pillow and tries to nap* Tane: *rips a hole in Endiv's armor to get to his teet; upon finding it, he starts sucking it for milk* Nogey: Tane! Aeeerrubbooo! *he speaks Saiba* Tane: *raises his head in astonishment; Endiv milk pours down his chin* Ackan? Brauou nettabaj! *he gets up and runs for the hills* Nogey: Now, my boy Endiv, please raise the others. Endiv: I don't really think I can raise them, not in this attire at least. Unless you have some gel. Nogey: I urge you to raise them from the slumber. Do not make me ask you again. Endiv: Alright. *throws some rocks at the other Saiyans* Why couldn't you do that? Nogey: Thank you. *turns* Saiyans generally do not like being awaken by dolls. *turns again* Now, I bet you are all wondering why I gathered you here today. Endiv: I'm wondering more about how you're talking. Nogey: Aha, excellent question! You see, I am not really a doll - I'm more of a, soul, shall we say. I'm inhabiting the vessel of a doll that dearest Lavera brought to this planet. Endiv: But you don't have vocal cords. Letti: Yeah, and also, how can you move, the legs don't actually attach to the body. Endiv: Shut up, Letti. Letti: Yes sir Blitz: *wakes up* Uhh. The hell happend? Why do I feel so awkward and uncomfortable? Letti: Don't ever ask... EVER! Rubar: I feel I know what happened. *gets in Letti's personal space* Blitz: What happened? Did you guys do something to me while I was unconscious? Letti: Who are you? Rubar: I am savior of worlds. I am king of amaz- Endiv: He's the pilot. Letti: Ahh, well, how many saiyans are alive? Also blitz... No. Blitz: If you guys did I swear! Endiv: Fuck off, Blitz. Letti: Let the grown ups talk... And me. Blitz: FUCK YOU, ENDIV! Letti: Nice knowing you. Blitz: *injured* Fuck you...Fuck you all. *falls down* Letti: Should I? Blitz: Whaaat?! Endiv: Letti, beat the shit out of Blitz for me. Blitz: Do what you...wish, but I as a Saiyan won't give up! *charges and punches Letti in the face* Letti: Bitch please, I was beaten up by the most badass saiyans in the army for over 4 years. Letti: Good times... Good times. Blitz: *bleeding heavily* Damn...you. *falls unconscious* Tane: *masturbates furiously as he watches from afar* Rubar: *creepface wink and nod at Tane* Letti: Yes, now I'm the second or third weakest! Endiv: You're the fifth strongest of us, after Tane and Lavera. Letti: Wait... LAVERAS DEAD! Even if Tane is stronger then me, how come Laveres corpse has more power then me!? Endiv: *throws Letti a scouter* Read the power level. Letti: Uhh... Endiv you're a 3,850, the pilot is 2,190, Tane is... 1,200 as normal... I see that blitz is 2... Mine is... I'M A 1,199! Ahh man... Wait... The scouters picking up one over... 10,000... No... 15,000...no... Letti: Uhh... Leimone: Ahem. Letti: Yo... Hi! Letti: Ahh! Endiv: What? Letti: Umm... Hi... PTO... Just want to say... Want some tea? Leimone: Teas are disgusting. *The PTO charges* Tane: *Scratches his chin* Annaghraba?! *he shoots his load after he feels his tickling finger; his green semen goes all over the ground* Shieh! Letti: WHAT THE FUCK! Cottilion: Hello, have we met, I'm here to FUCK THE SHIT UP! Leimone?: *baritone* Cotilion, get away, before I make you. Cottilion: Umm... When did I give my name away? Did you enter some dating program? I have to say... I may pound pussies... But you look like a big one to me. Cottillion: Also... Fuck you, my brothers name was Baritone Leimone?: *the rest of the spine snaps back* My name is Erebus. Cottillion: Erebus is a lesbians name! Erebus: *the rest of the body snaps to the neck* I am your god. Kneel. Letti: MY GOD... That has to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Cottillion: Oh well, being 1 million years makes you somewhat skeptical. Erebus: *turns into the cloud* I. Said. KNEEL! *claws rip out of the cloud and into Cottillion's flesh* Cottillion: Oh no... I've been attacked, whatever will I do? I must run away, or something... Shakespeare at his best I say! Cottillion: hey, hey... Fuck you. Erebus: *laser beams + clouds = no* Please. Cottillion: Look, buddy, I know you might be getting a boner about this fight, god knows you need the 2 inches you have, but I have places to destroy, people to rape, things to eat! Let's call this a draw, consume the flesh of the people we dislike, and have a three way with a hooker? Erebus: I am bored as well. *covers Cotillion with smoke* Cottillion: HEY, THESE KILL! Cottillion: Kids, don't smoke, do heroin! Erebus: *reforms around Cotty cat and disappear* Cottillion: Well... Fuck this shit. I'm taking the long path next time. Letti: What... The hell was that? Erebus: *dissipates* Letti: Did today do nothing but make our minds explode with stupidity? Tane: *isn't watching anymore since all that shit was whack yo; in front of him, his semen has gone into the ground and a small green stalk has sprouted in its place* Shebalna! *meanwhile, Leo limps into the space port he found last chapter; there are lots of people walking around and some buildings (which are mostly built into the mountain)* Leo: *notices a bar of sorts* Hey you! Bartender! Yo! Get me some space whiskey! On the space rocks! Bartender: Uh, you're gonna have to pay for that. Leo: *points his weapon at the bartender* No way. Bartender: Uh, aren't you a little young to be drinking anyway? *the bartender goes off and gets Leo his drink; Leo sits down on a barstool near the counter and sips his drink; he stays in there for a good while until the sun has begun to set* Leo: *as he is drinking, he notices what appears to be an army of little green aliens - much like the one he caught gnawing on him earlier - sprinting into the city; a bunch of explosions then go off; he stands up, but he wobbles a bit* Ahhhshii... END PART SIX Part Seven Letti: Okay team, let's go find out what this planet is. Letti: Yep... Knew it. Endiv: *awake* Hey, you don't have an ear. Letti: Oh yeah, some asshole took it away. But don't worry, I can still kick ass! Endiv: Pretty sure that's a maggot in there. Letti: What, no, it's just a Letti: WHAT THE FUCK Shallin: The horrors... the horrors... Endiv: Hey Shallin, are there any tea leaves you've seen? I'm all out. Letti: I FOUND THE PARENTS Endiv: *nonchalant* Ooh, tea leaves. *pockets drug leaves* Endiv: *shoves leaves into it's mouth* Letti: Wow... That was almost badass. Endiv: *gives Letti a pipe* Smoke. Letti: You know what, I bet Nappa is gay. You never see him with woman, and he always hangs around Prince Vegeta. I bet there dead. Super dead. 100% dead. No doubts. Endiv: *pulls the maggot out of Letti's ear* *throws it* Go get it boy. *the giant maggot leaves, to catch it's young* Letti: Guess what? WERE ALL ALONE! WERE THE LAST SAIYANS. GAME OVER MAN... GAME OVER! Shallin: *is confused and unconscious* Endiv: *kicks Shallin* Hey, wake up. Shallin: ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT *swings sword around* Endiv: The f*ck is english? Meanwhile Blitz: *is consiuos and wakes up* Uuuuaaaaggghhh...You bastards. *coughs up blood* I'll make sure you all are killed...*satrs limping off* I feel stronger, but my body feel numb. I'll get you, Endiv and Letti. You can bet on that. Nobody700: LETTI! LISTEN! Letti: Who are you? Nobody700: NOBODY! Now listen, the secret to this planet, is very dark! You must tell the others, to kill themselves, before they accidentally blow it up! Letti: Why should I? Nobody700: I'll smash your balls with a wiggle ball bat if you don't! Letti: Okay sir! Letti: WE ALL HAVE TO DIE! Meanwhile Blitz: *starts to feel better* By the time i reach those traitorous filth, i shoud be as strong as one of them. I will have their head for this! Cloud: *circles around Blitz* Helloo child. Blitz: Who the f*** are you? Cloud: Someone here to help... MEANWHILE AT KV'S PLACE Leo: *notices the shot glass he was holding is shattered* My space whiskey! Stupid green things. *he looks up but is immediately tackled by about seven saibabuddies* Meanwhile Blitz: Help? How ever so? Cloud: By helping you kill those damned other saiyans. *the cloud dissipates, revealing a drone, with something written on it, "PLANT"* Now, when shall we start? Meanwhile... Again Letti: Okay, think...strange person says kill everyone... I might be going crazy. But I do have to admit, most of these people do need a good killing. You know what... They trust me, and it should trust them. SCREW YOU NOBODY, YOU MAY BE A NOBODY, BUT I AM A MAN! Letti: Hey blitz! Blitz: *turns around slowly in anger and sees Letti* There you are, you bastard. Ok, Plant I will aquire your help, but after we kill these fools you leave, understand? Letti: Hey, is an evil presence telling you to kill people too? Blitz: *turns his attention back to Letti* I will have your head, traitor! *charges directley at Letti* END PART SEVEN Part Eighter Shallin: FUCK Endiv: Hey Shallin. Shallin: WHERE THE FUCK AM I? WHO AM I? *swings sword wildly* Endiv: Helios. Shallin. Shallin: *throws sword, then runs and gets the sword, then returns, then resumes swinging* AAAAACCHHH Nogey: *scurries in out of nowhere, then raises hand toward Shallin* Calm, calm yourself. *Shallin sits down on the cold Helios ground* Blitz: *charges at them* I'll send you bastards to Hell! Rubar: *invades Blitz's personal space, with creepface* Hey there big guy! Blitz: *twists Rubar's nose* Letti: You two... GET A ROOM! Rubar: Heeeeeeey Leeettii. Also fuck off Blitz, nobody touches my face. Letti: Nobody... that remindes me... Some weirdo tried to tell me to kill you guys. Plant: *shoots Rubar* I'M HERE! Rubar: Shit.... RUBAR DIES FROM LASERS Shallin: I wouldn't call it incredible; I'm no Saiyan, I'm relatively humble. But yes, it would be him who granted me this power. Nogey: "I'd- like- to- see- you- do- any- better...", Letti: RUBAR! Letti: I will treausere the very few moments I knew you. Zombie Lavera: Impressive. It appears you aren't neccesarily a normal human. Shallin: *makes laser sounds and laughs at Rubar's death* Plant: Ahem, I'm a probe, that's not how it works. Letti: Whats a human? Also... ZOMBIE! RUN! Nobody700: Wow... I made a pussy Cell: MEOW! Nobody700: CELL, SAVE ME! WERE BOTH PERFECT! Shallin: Let's go down *funky beat* to Saibatown Endiv: The fuck. Shallin: *goes to saibatown* Zombie Lavera: *goes to saibatown* Nogey: *goes to saibatown* Endiv: Screw it. *goes to saibatown* Letti: SAVE ME! Oh look, a sign LETTI: NO! NOT THIS PLACE! SO MANY TANES! The roleplay ends. Nobody700: WHAT THE HECK! Cottillion: I didn't like it Nobody700: WHAT! Cottillion: Needs more... ME! Where's the boss? Endiv: The fuck just happened? Cottillion: I ended this shit! Thats what the fuck is! I want to see the big man! I NEED MORE ON SCREEN APPERANCE! Nobody700: Shut up! NOBODY700 IS DEAD ''' *Everyone notices the Saibamen wreaking havoc in the town; there are dozens of them; at once, some of the saibamen notice the saiyans and the talking doll (what the shit is that?) and run at them all, screaming praise for their motherland* Cottillion: Oh great! Cottillion: Now, I want to... Cottillion: JESUS CHRIST ON A POGO STICK! Endiv: The fuck is happening? '''Dragon Break or some shit. The roleplay stops ending. Letti: Today feels like forever! Cottillion: That's because I killed the series dumbass! Letti: Umm... What's going on? Letti: Oh shit, I'm going to die! Cottillion: Nope. You'll live. What their going to do with your body though, let's just say... Your going to need an adult, and a doll later. Endiv: *shoots a minor ki blast, destroying the cage* Good evening. Letti: YOU SAVED ME! Man, I thought I was going to be raped. Cottillion: Actually, their is a 99.99% chance he will rape you. I would prefer seeing that, to them doing that to you. No homo. *A bunch of Tane-spawn jump on Cotillion and then explode, killing him; there is a huge massive crater left where he once was, along with half an eyeball* Endiv: By the way, Saibamen detonate when they mate. Cottillion: WOW! I just LOOOOOVE ANIMAL PLANENT! What's next?! Monkeys that shoot fire from their ass? Zebras that can punch people?! Tell me more, yup drunk monkey bastard! You know what, screw that, I'm getting a beer. Endiv: So, he probably has cum in his bloodstream now, Saiba-sperm gets everywhere. *Dozens, perhaps hundreds of Saibabuddies come running over the hill towards Endiv and Letti and Shallin and Nogey and Zombie Lavera and Blitz* Letti: QUICK, OPERATION ALPHEA OMEGA! RUN LIKE LITTLE GIRLS! Endiv:*trips Letti, and throws him to the Brood of Saibamen* Sacrifice! *However, all of the Saibabuddies are actually Saibawomen with big breastes and they then proceed to rape Letti for the rest of the day* Endiv: I am strangely aroused. Letti: SAVE ME! OH DEAR GOD, ITS HORRIBLE, OH MY... Hmm, that feels good. Thank you... ITS HORRIBLE AGAIN, OH DEAR LORD, JUST... oh yeah, right there, that's the spot... NOOO, NOT THERE, NOT EVEN CLOSE! *Letti proceeds to get plenty of Saibaman-transmitted-diseases (STDs), which will afflict him terribly for the rest of the story* END PART EIGHTER Part Nine *Leo wakes up surrounded by sleeping Saibamen; he gingerly crawls out from under them and stands up in the middle of the wrecked bar; up ahead, on the counter, are two Saibamen; they are sipping Space Whiskey from the bartender's shoes* Leo: Hey, that's the one that stole my helmet! Tane: I do say, good sir, this firewater is exquisitely brewed! My palate is immersed in a whirlwind of raucously delectable flavors. Indeed, I say! Tane-spawn #69: *sipping from his shoe* Oh yes, quite. Tane: Veritably, it is a toothsome concoction! Still, where now is this seasoned bartender? Pray tell and call yonder! Give the master inquiry of our interminable thirst; verily, I desire another enticing, spirituous melange! Tane-spawn #69: My good lord, you did rip his sweet-nectared throat out! I witnessed it with mine own eyes, I did! *Leo sneaks up on the two* Tane: How unfortunate! In this cruel place I must lament our noble brewmaster. His art will never again grace this wicked world. 'Tis a shame, I say! A shame, for yet my precious shoe grows dry and my tongue craves its contents ever the more. Tane-spawn #69: My good lord, how is it now you repent? Surely thine own actions sullied that graceful man's mortal light! Tane: Soft! Soft, ye creature of the night! Thou art but an ignoble beast, a lowly snake to slither below my splendor! Nip at my heels, I say, and give me thy drink! My taste has ordained it thus! Tane-spawn #69: I shan't give away my well-spoiled prize to any, be he a sir or a cur! This firewater courses flames through my veins! Mine own emotion, well-tempered and colored robustly, has none to give but words and caution. Tane: Good sir, you insult me; you hurt me deeply like no thorn of the world can. I cannot withstand the barrages of your sharpened words. They come swift and hard, like a midsummer's rain. And hark! Look on my visage, ye flush-faced fool, and despair! *Tane shoots an energy blast at Tane-spawn #69, killing his son; he dives at the other shoe, as the corpse drops it; he catches it just in time to look up and see Leo standing in front of him; the Lombax is swinging his wrench and he looks quite angry* Leo: Remember me? Tane: *drinking up from the other shoe* Shiaagannabili! Leo: Oh come on! I know you can talk! I just heard you with that other green guy! Tane: Chijiakllyaur! *he throws up, sneezes, then throws the shoe at Leo and scurries off* Leo: *gets hit in the face with the shoe* Are you serious?! That's not cool, man. Not cool! I'll get you for this! *he raises his wrench menacingly to no one in particular* *suddenly, from all the noise, every other Saibaman in the bar wakes up; they see Leo and, as one mind, charge at him* Leo: Why do you guys have to make this so difficult? *he readies energy in his hands and starts shooting it at the Saibamen; there are so many, however, that his attacks aren't that effective; soon, they overrun him, and Leo is forced to start whacking them with his wrench; still more come, and he is forced to retreat - and by retreat, I mean, Leo runs out of the bar, down into the rest of the town screaming like a girl with his hands waving over his head* Endiv: *sees Leo running past him* Aren't you dead? Leo: Oh my Leimone! How did you guys get here? Endiv: Dramatic convenience. Leo: Yeah, well there's no time to talk, monkey-boy! Those green guys are after me! *Leo runs past Endiv cuz Saibamen are chasing him like lions chase an antelope* Endiv: *takes off into five feet over Leo* You really suck at escaping from things. Leo: Hey! If I hadn't had so much Space Whiskey, I'd kill you right now! Endiv: Emphasis on "I'd". Letti: What happened? All I remember is... Letti: OOZARU CHRIST! GET AWAY FROM ME! Endiv: How are you still alive? Letti: Well, let's just say, being beat up every day for 2 years by 10 saiyans can make you become a great punching bag. Even lord Frieza commented on that, calling me 'That on so guy who can take it'. Hey, what happened anyway to our home world? I heard a huge boom on the ship. Did King Vegeta have sex with another whore again in Oozaru form? Endiv: You DO know the reason we're running from Frieza right? Letti: ... What the hell happened? Leo: Merry Chrimbus, motherfucker! *he throws Letti back to the hordes chasing them as he runs on* Endiv: *flies after Leo* Holy shit, that was hilarious! Leo: Hey, you're next! Letti: I'LL HAVE MY VENGEANCE LOMBAX! I WILL... wait... What the hell is a Lombax? Letti: Did you come to save me? Letti: I think you did. Endiv: *shoots a ki blast at Letti's face* Still, hilarious. Tane: *runs for the hills* Endiv: Where the hell is he running to? The nearest hills are a few hundred kilometers away. How does he even know where they are? Do saibamen have hill magnets? Letti: How do you know he ran for the hills? Blitz: We don't. Thats why we follow the creetin. *follows Tane over the hills* Letti: Geez, where do I hang this lampshade? Also, WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?! Wait... Stop using your brain. Just... Follow. Tane: Shikaka! *as he's running, something suddenly appears in front of him, Letti, Blitz, Endiv, and Shallin* Yaggerneiti n'gaimo! Letti: No... It can't be... It's IMPOSSIBLE! Endiv: Tane, fuck you, like seriously, fuck you. I have no idea why we brought you along, you haven't helped at all. *shoots Blitz with a Ki blast* You too Blitz. Tane: *Tane wonders what the thing that appeared in front of them is* Qooeis? ???: Now... You 4 should leave here. Before 'he' is aware visitors are here. I will say, I am impressed. No one has lasted this long... But now... GO! Endiv: We really don't care. ???: Did then! ???: GO! ITS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, AND EVERY LIVING BEING IN THE UNIVERSE! Endiv: Hey, do you know a puppet spirit guy? ???: N...Nogey? If he's here... Cotillion is here as well. No... He's... He's coming back... No matter what. Even if you leave this forsaken hell hole, you will die. Frieza... Is nothing to this. It is mavelonce's reborn. Endiv: That's nice, so, do you know how to get off this planet? Tane: Mjala! Meatbag nalshgraahh! ???: I thought you had a way! Also... That thing, is more classical then I thought. Letti: What are you talking about? ???: The end is coming. With his return... Only death will follow. If I spoke his name, either we will all die, or we live. Tane: Ggrrhhhrr!! ???: I will tell you then. Dne. ???: My... No one died. Seems that's good. Welp, now Dne will kill us soon. Nogey: Enough. ???: HIDE AS MUCH AS YOU WANT! BUT WE WILL DIE! Don't be like Cotillion! Cotillion: Did someone say, psycho sexy bitch!? Cause I don't see Your mom. Hah! Old stupid jokes never die... They only fade away. Tane: Hbrahck! Nogey: Shallin, Endiv, Rubar, Blitz, and Letti... I need you all to gather round and listen closely. what I am about to say will change your life indefinitely. Letti: Please be important! Please be important! Cottillion: Please be stupid! Please be stupid! ???: Please be relevant! Please be relevant! Endiv: Please make it involve these three dying. Tane: Mrahck! Vitiliana shakaba! *he creates a large energy blast and hurls it at a nearby tree, then blows up the tree and jumps in it, making a canoe to sail off into the distance* Nogey: plot here Endiv: reaction to plot here *in the distance, some swarms start coming around and explosions go off and it's incredible* END PART NINE Part Ten Cottillion: So then I told her... Hey, that's not a cake, that's a bomb! She blew up, and my midget had to bury her. And my friends, that's how I saved Christmas. Letti: What did that have to do with you curing cancer? Cottillion: Meh. ???: Oh my Kami! We need to get out of this rock! Anyone have a space ship? Blitz: Finally. Took me forever to find you guys. What is happening? Destructivedisk: Oh god... not this again... *it starts raining vodka* Leo: *follows Tane into the distance, shooting through all of the Saibababies* Gimme back my helmet! *from behind, the swarms of aliens and greys attack Endiv, Shallin, Nogey, Blitz, Letti, ???, and Cotillion* Tane: *starts drinking the falling vodka; he stands up majestically at the tip of his canoe like George Washington as he becomes inebriated* Grahh!! Shielaba! *from behind, the death cloud overtakes the Saiyans, immediately killing Shallin and Blitz; Endiv and Letti run off, but Cotillion tries to kill them; to save them, Nogey jumps forward, latches onto Cotillion, and self-destructs, killing them both; ??? is fucking irrelevant, so who gives a fuck about him* Tane: Now yonder our meatbags doth quarrel and wither as thy clouds in thou orphic heav'ns! These scurrilous roaches lope and folly, their hearts content bridled in crimson throats: Ah! Sweet bubbly, veritable villain! How now shall I bring upon thee tempests of thy malcontent, for in skin doth be that which shan't outlive the vectorous sores like dripping flesh birthed from dying fruits of knowledge, there is none so much as this. Letti, I called him, brothers, evil is his name. His shall be mine, a sweetness thus have never I tasted before. Come! Leo: *reaching Tane, he swings his wrench, firing off energy blasts from his palms and weapons* Hey, you! It's time for you die! Tane: Quiet, wretch, damnéd lowly heathen filth. Hunt me not, mine quarry yet approaches. His life for all the stars in the black sky, call'd it thy humor and thy little death. Leo: So now you can talk, huh? You're still just as incoherent! Tane: A temerity commendable thus! Score, vermin! Make thy corpse cold and hard. *Tane's spawn corner Leo and briefly hold him up so that he can't get to Tane; they start to battle him, but Leo is able to kill them rather effortlessly; their guts splatter on Leo's armor* Tane: *jumps from his canoe, past all of his Saibachildren and runs towards Letti; he reaches the Saiyan, ignores Endiv, and then attacks; Letti is weak as fuck, so he can't stop this Saibaman at all; Tane easily rips out Letti's eyes, eats them, and the scratches the Saiyan's face; as blood runs down the Saiyan's face, Tane leaps forward and pins him to the ground; he claws at Letti's throat even as the Saiyan screams and pisses and shits himself; Tane grabs ahold of the screaming Saiyan's jaws and rips out several of his teeth, causing even more blood to pour out; as Letti continues to scream, Tane howls at the sky, drinking more and more of the raining vodka; then, he lowers his face back down, smirks, and rips off Letti's lower jaw; he feasts on that for a while; now covered in blood, Tane then shoots the writhing Saiyan with a yellow energy blast, frying his entire body; he lets the blast continue on, slowly cooking and torturing the Saiyan for several moments* Ah, beast! Bleed thy coward's heart! Yellow snake! Today is thy last! Breathe the rose's air and fall into the infinite silence! Just so! Dire is thy fated, dreamless sleep, where none shall mourn and none shall weep. Hark, Death! *Letti dies; Tane continues to eat his corpse and drink from the sky's vodka* Leo: *kills the rest of Tane's spawn and then runs back to where Tane is crouching over his kill* You can't run from me! Tane: *looks up, blood streaming down his chin* Thou hast roused me like a willow'd hawthorn into a contemptible countenance! This quarry shall by thine identical, blood and water worn on thee like the night! Leo: Shut the fuck up! *he shoots an energy blast at Tane, blowing him off of Letti's body; then, he runs up to Tane and picks him up by the neck; Tane is shaking in intense pain* Tane: *bleeding and dying* Thou hast tamed me like a fierce, savage lion, the yellow king of rancor, sold, broken, bested, and ruined; Alas, now I am dead! Leo: *rips the helmet from Tane's grasp and puts it on* Leimone, sir! Sir?! Are you there?! *there is only static* Leo: Sir, are you there? Sir?! I need immediate evac! *There is no response* Leo: *eyes widening* Friezadamnit! He's either dead or left me here! *he looks back and sees the greys and death clouds approaching him* Eek! I don't want that thing to get me! *but as Leo tries to run, something grabs his ankle and holds him back* Tane: *almost dead, one eye closed; very much bruised and bleeding; he is holding onto Leo's leg* Gruhh...! Angala shimela! Ggrrhhhrr!! *Tane suddenly self-destructs in a huge, white explosion; Leo is thrown into the air, yelling and howling; within a few seconds, the good Lombax disappears into the sky like Team Rocket blasting off again* *Now that everyone else is dead or gone, Endiv stops running; the greys and death clouds reach him, but then stop; they don't attack him whatsoever; Endiv smiles* Endiv: *evil smile* So they're finally dead. That wasn't so hard. *The swarms of death clouds swirl around Endiv as the screen pans back and fades to black; Endiv's laughter is the only sound that continues as this occurs* THE END Category:Roleplays Category:Collaboration Category:No Way Out Category:Non-canon KV Pages